The Heartbeat of Valentine’s Day

How we love one another

With Valentine’s Day less than 24 hours away, the expectation to get the “perfect” gift or plan the “perfect” date for your spouse or loved one can feel like an overwhelming task. It’s easy to read stories of extravagant Valentine’s Day dates and think, “If only my spouse does (fill in the blank with your expectation)… then I would finally know how much they really love me.”

However, in the pressure of perfect gifts and grand gestures, we run the risk of loosing the simple act of expressing affection.

What if the true heartbeat of Valentine’s Day was less about “getting it right” and more about remembering ways you have loved your spouse in the past?

Here are just three different ideas for what this could look like:

  1. Write three adjectives that describe your spouse, and why you feel they do. When you pick up a pen and actually write words on paper your brain connects differently with the subject matter than it does when you create it electronically. Plus, this act requires a sacrifice of time — from both you and your spouse.
  2. Write three things that are funny about the other one. Let this be an opportunity for you and your spouse to laugh together as you reminisce. An added bonus? Laughter helps to release dopamine in the brain.
  3. Arrange some time to remember your vows together, and if possible, write them out. Couples say vows at the beginning of marriage, but often we forget to revisit these special promises we made to one another later in marriage. There’s no better way to grow together in understanding those vows than experiencing the the ins and outs of day-to-day life.

So this Valentine’s Day, what if we choose to remember how we have loved our spouse in the past as well as the ways we will continue to love them in this coming year?

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