Such a great question one that I hear often when the scientific element of men and women’s brain structural differences are noticed and named.
This hits me from a personal place needing to explore and understand my disordered view of gender.
Let me explain.
From an early age, I noticed and experienced the differences of how men and women engaged in relationships and made decisions. Personally, I internalized that men’s view had value and I under-valued the view of women. Common statements like:
“You are thinking too much like a woman.”
What does that mean? Is thinking like a woman somehow bad?
“Becky, take the emotion out of your decision, think logically.”
Does this mean that emotion is bad and in thinking more like a man I will not have emotion?
Is logic something that only men possess and emotions are exclusively for women? A message I learned early is that if I reduce my emotions and elevate my logic, than I could often be heard and my view valued.
To understand my own questions I had to look at some deeply embedded perceptions that I carried somewhat unknowingly:
1) Strength, logic, reason seemed to fall under the category of men.
2) Gentleness, emotion, relationship seemed to fall under the category of women.
I valued one over the other, I saw one as strong, the other as weak. Really? I hope this makes you uncomfortable because even writing this causes me to cringe.
Let’s pretend we are sitting face-to-face, because I need to ask another question. In what way do you relate more to the description of a man’s wiring? And if it is from perception of value, might there be something more to value of being a woman? If in anyway we use a measuring system of valuing one over the other, we could have hidden complexities of gender elevation.
The simple fact is that science tells us that women’s brains are wired differently than men’s. The two side of a man’s brain are more different whereas the two sides of a woman’s brain are more the same. This is not better than or stating any value – just that women’s brain process information through more avenues, while men process information through a more central compartmentalized avenue. Thus I often use the description of a six lane highway vs. a one lane dirt road.
It makes no logical sense why this gentle tender flower would grow in the center of this rock, but it did it anyway…
Do we value both? Does each hold a unique purpose? AND most importantly what might they both have to teach us?