Is foreplay important?
First of all, I love this question. My immediate question for you is: where are you having this discussion? As you are getting ready to have sex?
For many men, once the train has left the station, it’s hard to switch tracks. The best discussions about sexual desires and suggestions need to happen somewhere outside the bedroom.
So next time the opportunity arises to discuss the importance of foreplay, it might be helpful to use word pictures. Word pictures are a great way to communication with men. Choosing the time to have a conversation and figuring out what language partners with your husband’s interests is also helpful.
Let me show you what I mean: I live in a cold climate… a very cold climate. When the thermometer is hovering near the mark of zero degrees, I know that in order for my car to function properly I need to warm it up. The oil has to warm up, move from being heavy to thin in order to move freely and efficiently through the engine block. Sure, I can jump in and take off right away, but I also run the risk of damaging the engine.
What does foreplay have to teach us about one another?
It requires taking time, noticing each other, slowing down this very quick act of grasping pleasure, and extending an invitation for pleasure to teach us about the other.
Women on average need 20 minutes for the blood flow to reach their genitals fully, not to mention the time it takes to silence the many pathways the brain is running. The secrets of the female orgasm are vast and mysterious. Women take longer to orgasm, but wise is the one who learns that the process of foreplay is not a loss of time, but rather an addition to the gift of oneness that sex is meant to create.