What is my focus on?
We all have that one person. The person we would deliver a well-deserved, serves-you-right smack across the face in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. It is in the moment when I want to get real and give that person exactly what their behavior REALLY deserves that I must come to the realization that my focus is not on the other person, but on myself.
It’s hard to admit, but sometimes I find myself in this place.
Life would be so much easier if we could see one another without judgement or competition despite our differences. More than I know, both judgement and competition rob me from truly seeing other people and loving them well.
When I am focused on someone else’s behavior, the person who is on center stage is not the person who is in the “wrong” but me, myself, and I.
Derek Tasker in his book “An Exploration into God” writes:
“I wonder what would happen if I treated everyone like I was in love with them. Whether I like them or not, whether they respond or not, and no matter what they say or do to me. Even if I see things in them which are ugly, twisted, petty, cruel, vain, deceitful, and indifferent – what if I just accepted all that and turned my attention to some small, weak, tender, and hidden part? What if I kept my eyes on that until it shined like a beam of light, like a bonfire I can warm my hands by and trust it to burn away all the waste – which was never my business to meddle with.”
Can anyone love like this?
This kind of love looks dangerous. It takes your breath away. Who could love like this? Who would ever risk loving like this? Love like that would place everything about myself at risk. All of my desires and hopes and dreams would be placed on the back burner, and that would not be fair… would it? Everything inside of me says, “NO! Why should I forgive that person? They don’t deserve it – and it would not be fair to me if I forgave them.”
Love like this is not cheap – not cheap at all because it would cost us everything. As I reflect on Easter Sunday and Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross, I am reminded of his love. His love that cost him everything, all to forgive us. His focus was not himself and the wrongs we have committed against him – but only on his deep love for us.
God, give me the desire to love like you do.